10 Reasons why Japan is a better place to live than America

More than 60 percent of the United States citizens have never left America. And if you’re part of that 60 percent. The only question I have is , why? Because the idea that America is the greatest country in the world is now becoming less and less true (Cough Cough, Donald Trump). And when a citizen of the red white and blue ventures into other countries – many decide to stay…but why? With that being said, here’s our 10 Reasons Why Japan Is Better Than America.

10Japanese Robot Toilets

Known more around the globe as Bidets. These robot toilets are literally everywhere in Japan, even the public restrooms at the train station! It features a heated toilet seat that warms your buns in your early morning poop session. And when you’re finished, a nozzle that delivers warm water straight up your ass hole that’s quite enjoyable. This sounds kinda weird right? Don’t believe the awesomeness of it? Try and you’ll be converted.


Now we just talked about a toilet that shoots awesomeness into your anus at public restrooms. That wouldn’t sound very cool if that toilet was somewhere in South L.A. But not to fear, in tokyo japan, where there are tens millions of people in any given day walking through the city. There is virtually no littering and all the toilets are clean as a whistle. Why? The answer has to lie in the fact that japanese people are just freakishly obsessed with cleanliness. and with the help of professional janitors, who pride themselves in having every toilet and street spot less. You’re buns will be safe from ass herpes.

8No tipping needed

In the US, if you don’t tip your bartender a dollar after every drink, you’re probably not getting served very quicky on your next drink. And if you stiff your local waitress on her 15 percent, be sure to get a cum sandwich the next time you see Ol’ Betsy. But in Japan, it is customary to not leave a tip at all. But for some unknown reason, the staff is way way way nicer. WTF is that all about?

7Barely Any Crime!

The homicide rate in Japan is at its all time lowest ever in a country that now boasts 135 million people and the killing seems to be dropping every fucking year. Which is completely opposite to every other first world country. Japan’s homicide rate is 1 death in every 100,000 people. To put this stat into perspective, last year, America saw more than 13,000 homicides with guns. Japan had 10. And Burglary in Japan? That virtually doesn’t exist. Remember when the earthquake hit and tsunami came through? What happened weeks, months after? No houses no business looted. will the same happen in LA? Pssshh, Yeah right….

6Traveling on time

For some reason the Japanese are very punctual people. And there most trusted transportation system, the train, is rarely late. The bullet train that travels at a ridiculous speed of 200 miles
per hour, will get you to locations fast and while enjoying a beer. IN 2003, the bullet train or shinkansen hit a world record of 361 miles per hour. Now that’s punctual. So when you do set up a Tinder date in Kyoto and you’re in Tokyo. Don’t be late cuz you have no excuses.

5The Food

Japan has the most Michelin star restaurants in the World. That means they got Culinary G’s out there. And if you’re not a fine diner then don’t worry, the 7-11, and a small convenient store called Lawson will blow your fucking mind. Yes, I said the 7-11. The 24 hour convenience store we know that has soggy pizza and nachos that are barely edible are non existent. It’s replaced with amazing sandwiches,gyoza, udon/ramen, and even sushi. You can literally live through 7-11 out there. And don’t forget the night life out there with Izakaya restaurant which literally means eat and drink beer, and themed restaurants with robots.

4Nicer Women

If you’ve ever dated an american girl for more than 4 years, I’m sure you’ve experienced the american chick who flips out and burns your clothes because, hey, “they’re fucking crazy”. In japan the culture would never ever promote a bitch like “Cash me outside, how bow daH.” The culture dictates that Nice always wins. When a celebrity or even a regular Joe in japan gets into public trouble, they’re literally blacklisted from getting work. And often times would have to apologize on national television…In america, you get a music contract and your own reality show. What are we teaching our daughters!!?

3Japanese People Live longer!

Life expectancy in Japan is the longest than any other 1st world country, and the margin is widening. For men on the low, it’s expected that you’ll live till 80. and for Women that number is 86! And they have the most living 100 year olds than any other country. At one point, Miyakojima, a small island near Okinawa had more 100 year olds living there than all of america! – wtf are they eating out there?? And get this.. There are now 65, 952 people in Japan that are 100 and over! That means, when you’re 80 your a spring chicken. When you’re 90. you’re still fucking!

2History Preserved

Now this one might seem boring for you, but let me make it fun and understandable… When america has a building built over 150 years ago, we don’t preserve it – in fact we bulldoze the motherfucker and we build another Wal Mart! Fuck our lives!!! In Japan, Ancient castles, gold temples, samurai houses, and shrines are preserved and are now helping their thriving tourism market. Which means money! Hey USA, stop bulldozing our history and use it to educate! Do we really need another outdoor mall with Forever 21 and Jamba Juice?

1You’re in the future

The day you step into Shibuya or Akihabara, you’ll know what the fuck I mean…It looks like you just hit 80mph in your delorean and landed in the future, but nothing like Marty McFly’s Future, where “Biff Tanner” Aka Donald Trump rules the world, since in this case, we land in Japan. The people in japan are fast moving, where thousands of people
are crossing the Shibuya train-line intersection at the same time. And if you’re a foreigner asking for directions, don’t worry, everyone is nice in the future (i mean japan).. The next Olympics will be held in Tokyo 2020. So literally everyone is on their best behavior and they’re being taught to help and respect us foreigners as much as possible. Not like, they weren’t going to anyways.

And there you have it, our list of the 10 Reasons Why Japan Is Better Than America. Did we miss any other reasons? If so, mention them in the comments below, and as always don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe.

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